I’ll admit it. I watched every episode of Married at First Sight at least once if not twice. I was obsessed. Could these strangers find the secret to marriage in 6 weeks!? Would they find their fairy tale and live happily ever after? I need my brain examined.
After a week of reflection on the incredibly disappointing outcome where all three couples broke up, I’ve decided I had it coming.
We’ve got a guy who is verbally abusive and has an explosive temper, another who needs to “grow up”, and a third who didn’t want to live in NYC.
For the women, we have a woman who never speaks her mind and likes to play word games, another who expects to be the center of attention at all time, and a third who expected perfection and emotional availability and maturity.
Verbal abuse and temper aside, let’s address the main issue. The men were obviously not ready for this step. But are men ever ready for this step? Are they ready to be told what to do, what to wear, what to eat, to stop doing everything they love all at once? Probably not.
When we were first married, it was TOUGH. It took a year to figure things out. No, we don’t have a terrible marriage, we have an AWESOME marriage. But it took work.
We had to figure things out. I had to learn I wasn’t his mother, and that he didn’t need a mother, he needed a wife. He also didn’t need a girlfriend who would give him “tests”. He stood tall at the end of that aisle and waited for me, he’s passed the test.
He had to learn that I needed to be cared for. I needed to spend quality time with him. And that doing things around the house was like doing things specifically for me.
Give me a hung photo or fixed doorknob over a dozen roses any day!
So there you have it folks, 6 weeks with a stranger you don’t care about, it’s never going to work. Because everyone is in it for themselves, not for the other person. Love is giving, it’s unconditional and it’s our love for Christ that is the foundation of our marriage. If you don’t have that, your marriage will fail.
I’m not surprised anymore at the outcome, I’m surprised at how quickly I created a fantasy, even when I knew better. I feel for the individuals involved in this experiment. Sean said he “found God” in this process, so I guess something good happened!
Oh and speaking of doorknobs, stay tuned for the de-brassing of our home.